Three Old, One Young

Four beds.

Salmon-coloured walls.

Faded yellow blankets.

Four men.... three old, one young.

One on the brink of beginning his life.... and three inching closer to the end of their's.

One of the elderly

Snoring... non-stop.






Chattering away in his sleep.









Having a conversation with himself... none of it making heads or tails.







Answering his own questions in his sleep.






Screaming out in pain when moved by nurses.







Full of apologies to the darling nurses.... yet also thankful for their care.








Incoherent, by times. Convinced he's getting in his car and driving away from here.




Calling the nurse by the wrong name.




Full of congestion.





Ready to cough up a lung at any moment.





And more snoring.... sawing logs.





In his mind, he's resting peacefully.









One of the elderly





Confused by times.




Concerned about his wallet's whereabouts.




The nurse assures it's in safe-keeping.




He asks for it, in case he needs to prove to someone his identity. The wristband isn't enough.




He moves, adjusts his pillow, and off goes the bed alarm.





He's grateful to the nurse for her care.




Pushes the call-button because he thinks his roommate has had a seizure. It's only a matter of the pillow falling on the floor.... no seizure.





Doesn't like to be covered by the sheets, and the gowns aren't quite long enough. Of course his bed is by the door!





Wants the phone beside him. Doesn't expect any calls, but wants that phone next to his bed.





Again he thanks the nurse, not wanting to be a bother.







One of the elderly



Directly across from Blake's bed.



Coherent most of the time.





A retired Priest.





Extremely kind.





A sense of humour.





Another bed alarm.





He wants to walk on his own.





He tries.





The nurse comes running at the sound of the alarm.





No walking alone.





Sits in the chair by his bed.






He has many visitors.








Visitor sits on the side of the bed to chat.










Gets up to leave and sets off the alarm.










The looks on the faces are priceless. "What have I done???"










We grin.










Elderly man laughs.










Visitor waves goodbye, exclaiming "I'm outta here!"










Priceless.














One young man.




Waiting for his healing medicine.








Waiting on the Lord for a miracle healing.










Confident that the Lord can heal him of his Chronic Disease.










At any time.












At any moment.










Knowing that the Lord's timing is best.










Trying to keep open ears to hear His Lord.










Trying to have open eyes to see His face.










Trying to have an open heart to do His will.










Trying to understand what good can come from an illness that eats away on his insides.








Confident that God is all-knowing.












All-wise.










All-healing.










All-loving.










Striving to be a 'patient' patient.








One woman.









One mother.










One caregiver.










Wanting to take the pain on herself.










Wanting to understand God's plan, too.










But knowing His plan is best.










Lessons to be learned through the trials.










Knowing there's green grass in the valleys.










Wondering how others have any hope without Jesus.










Thankful to be a child of The King.










In Jesus name, we press on.

Blake's Health Update 2010/07/02

I am so completely whooped tonight.







I didn't sleep well last night.







Mr. Wonderful decided to toss and turn.... and then toss and turn some more..... and then, just for good measure, decided to toss and turn a few more times..... actually he tossed and turned all night long!







Needless to say, I did not get much rest. Being a trucker's wife, I am used to that. You get used to sleeping alone for many nights, and then when your loved one returns, it takes a bit of adjusting. Our "antique" bed is not the most sturdy, and just rolling over onto your side can simulate riding in a canoe during a storm in the ocean!








So today I've just been dragging my hiney. Add the fact that Blake and I drove to Kingston today for an appointment at the clinic. Don't get me wrong.... I absolutely LOVE driving; but some days it just drains me. Today was one of them. (And thank you to those who are now thinking that you should offer to drive us. But quite honestly, riding as a passenger tires me even more. I like the control!!!! hahaha)








Blake's appointment at Hotel Dieu Hospital in Kingston today was just a check up to see how he's been feeling since his release from hospital on June 29th and to see how the Remicade is working this time.





I'm happy to say that each day Blake feels better and better.





Today when we arrived, we spent a bit of time with a young woman named Sarah. She is quite involved in Crohn's research, and she has approached me to see if our other two sons, Jacob and Jared, would be interested in a volunteer study regarding Crohn's. Because Crohn's Disease seems to run in families, they are studying and researching to find links and patterns, etc. They would like to initially do some tests on Jake & Jared and then follow them for six to ten years and see what more they can find out about this disease. They will likely only need to call the boys by telephone once every six months for six to ten years and ask them questions (for example, what foods they eat, any problems with abdominal pain, how their "plumbing" is working, if they've travelled out of country, any other illnesses, etc.). Both boys have kindly agreed to be part of the study. I'm very proud of them for doing that. Even if it does nothing for them, it may help someone else down the road. And isn't that really what it's all about? So, thanks boys! I'm proud of you for doing this!





We then met with Dr. Ren, who is a resident doctor. As soon as she walked in the door, I recognized her. She came to see Blake in his room last week at Kingston General to see what was going on with the redness on his forearm. She asked Blake a bunch of questions (he gets soooo completely tired of telling everyone the exact same thing over and over and over..... he just wishes they'd read his chart! haha. But I told him it was good learning for the medical students and resident doctors, and perhaps one doctor will ask something that another one has missed. But I completely get where he's coming from!) Then Dr. Ren did a physical examination on him, and she seemed pleased that he was feeling better.





She left and then returned a short time later with Dr. Beyak, one of Doctor Depew's clinic partners. This was our first time meeting this doctor. He was extremely nice, and quite honestly I was not surprised. They've all just been great with us and made this entire situation so much easier to bear. Dr. Beyak had told Blake that he had been talking to Dr. Hookey regarding his situation. They have been brainstorming together to see what can be done to get Blake his next dose of Remicade next week. They mentioned a couple of scenarios, and if we don't get an answer from the government by the beginning of next week (which will be quite a miracle if that happens), then I am hoping one of their scenarios will come together for Blake to receive his dose.





Please pray that the Lord will open the doors for this Remicade dose, if that is actually the Lord's desire for Blake to receive it. I know that it's MY desire for sure! But the Lord knows better, and His hand is upon Blake, and so we'll trust that the Lord's ways are best. His ways are not our ways. He has the best plan already laid out. I just do not want to get in the Lord's way. So if it's His will for Blake to receive the Remicade next week, then everything should unfold to His plan.





Blake enjoyed spaghetti tonight for supper and had two helpings!!!! And then after that settled, he had a piece of Mrs. Smith's chocolate cake. It is so good to see him eating. His weight today at the clinic was 115.5 lbs. Way to go, Blake!!!! That's a weight gain of 11.5 lbs. in five days! Blake's colour has improved since the Remicade dose as well. His face is pink now! Not white! He's been this whitish-gray colour since we picked him up from New Brunswick on April 26th, so it's good to see pink. He just told me that his ankles hurt tonight, but today has been the most walking since his release from hospital, so I'm not surprised. I'll keep an eye on that, though, since we want to watch out for joint pain.





Also, the redness in his arm is gone. We'll continue with the antibiotic to ensure the cellulitis is out of his system, but I'm pleased it's looking better.





He and Jared have just hit the hay, and I'm thinking I should be following suit. Jake is home tonight! He and Jeffrey (a co-worker) came home for the weekend. I'm glad (mostly for Jon's sake, even though I'm happy to see him too). Jon is doing better, but was quite mopey yesterday for his Jaybo. He says he's fine, but I'm here to tell you that he is NOT! Jon is like a lost little puppy dog. I know he'll be fine once he gets back on the road, which will likely be Monday or Tuesday; but at least he's got his little buddy back home for the weekend. Jon & Jake are downstairs in the rec room and it sounds like they're chatting up a storm. Jon must be thrilled.





And Jake looked so grown up when he walked through the door tonight.





When did I get old, folks?????





Today I found a bunch of gray hair, I had dark circles under my eyes, and I thought my face looked like gravity had hit it hard. My legs and back are aching, and I'm so flippin' tired. And to top it off, I know I'm getting old because I want to replace my double bed with two singles so I can actually get a full night's decent sleep!









So could someone tell me when did I get old????





At 43 I should be in the prime of my life. So why am I struggling to even just keep going? Maybe it's just the mental stress of Blake's situation. I don't know.





But I do know I need to get to bed. Jumpins.... it won't be long and I'll be going to bed before 9pm!





Oh well. Everything else might be going downhill..... but at least I'm getting wiser the older I get.





At least I THINK I am.





Tonight I heard on the radio that you can get Alzheimers as young as 40!





FORTY?????





Oh my.





That explains a LOT!





And also, I heard that you can get Alzheimers as young as 40!





............





....................





hahaha.





That was a pretty good one, eh?





OK. I'm signing off and going to bed now...... if I can remember where my bedroom is.





hahahahaha..... on a roll tonight!





[wink]

Earthquakes and Heart Attacks

By now I'm sure most of you have heard the "rumblings" from folks regarding today's earthquake.





It measured 5.0 on the Richter Scale. It originated in Quebec and was 18km (11 miles) DEEP!





My Mom, sister Danielle, and niece Abby were visiting Blake and me in the hospital room. Mom, who was sitting next to Blake with her arm on the bed, asked Blake if he was shaking the bed. I, too, assumed he was shaking one of his feet causing the bed to move. I was sitting at the foot of the bed and looked at him. He had a look on his face that I interpreted as, "uhhhhh, nooooooo.... why is my bed moving......". Danielle said, "My chair is shaking". Then Blake noticed his tray next to his bed was shaking. I first thought 'earthquake', then I thought maybe the construction work going on somewhere in the hospital was affecting the foundation.





I went to the door and no one else seemed worried or panicky. Blake's nurse saw me, and I said, "Did you feel that?" She replied with a 'no'... looking at me strangely.... and I explained that our room was shaking. (She likely thought I had tapped into some of Blake's morphine). We brushed it off and then Mom & Dani & Abby started collecting their things to leave. I walked them down to the lobby. Apparently in the meantime, Maintenance Staff came running to the Nurses Station, asking if everyone was alright.... that there had, in fact, been an earthquake.





Nurses were calling and texting their cell phones trying to get in touch with their children to ensure their safety, but no calls were going through. I managed to text Jake & Jared, but neither responded. I was able to contact Jon; he said he didn't feel anything in Indiana, but had read on Facebook that a friend of ours had felt it in Petawawa. Jon was just getting ready to type on Facebook that she was crazy; but he received my phone call and realized it was true.





It sounds as though everyone is OK, but it always throws a little scare into me. The hurricanes and floods and earthquakes and tornados and tsunamis....... it seems they're all occurring more often... the earth is groaning in it's labour pains.





Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8 NIV





I warned Blake that we might get an after-affect sometime later today, through the night, or even tomorrow. I remember feeling an earthquake when I was a teenager. It was very early in the morning. Dani & I shared a bedroom and I was on the upper portion of a not-so-sturdy bunkbed set. The next morning I felt another tremor, although not as strong. Mom & Dad hadn't felt the second one, so I was glad when Dad turned on the radio and they announced that there was a second tremor. I like it when I know I'm not officially going crazy! haha (Unofficially, you should know that I'm extremely crazy!)





Anyways, I will feel better when I can get ahold of my boys. I'm sure they're fine.... I just like the reassurance. [Update: it has taken me forever to type this post because of a few interruptions; however, I have heard from my "troops" and they are fine! Whew!]







So everything is going well with Blake. The Remicade was infused late afternoon yesterday, and all seems to be OK. I would say today has been his best afternoon in many weeks. He had a shower this afternoon as well, and that always helps to perk one up a bit. If he continues to improve, I am gonna guess that we MAYBE can go home Friday, but I'm just guessing. Dr. Paterson was in today and said that Blake should be noticing a difference in his health with the Remicade within 48 - 72 hours. Right now I'd say we're already noticing a positive difference.








You know how the Lord always works things out for our good? Well, we are not on the Gastroenterology Floor. When we were admitted, they were short on beds, and because of Blake's C-Diff infection, we needed an isolated room. So we were brought to the Third Floor of the Davies Wing which is Cardiology (heart).





Well the elevators in this hospital have been receiving repairs since before we were here last October! They're STILL not finished. There is ONE elevator working for Visitors at the Kidd & Davies Wings and ONE elevator working at the Connell Wing. Even the cafeteria staff had to use the Visitor elevator the other day because the only working staff elevator had quit AGAIN.





I was going to head downstairs to the cafeteria and thought, 'I'm not waiting for that cotton-pickin' elevator.... I will be healthier if I take the stairs down to the cafeteria! Then I will cheat and take the elevator back UP!' [snicker] But after I got my food, I decided that it would be better for me if I took the stairs back up to the 3rd Floor.





With each 1/2 level, I was getting slower and slower. I kept thinking "My Shihan and Sensei will be happy that I'm taking the stairs..... My Shihan and Sensei will be happy that I'm taking the stairs.... My Shihan and Sensei will be happy......"





By the time I'd reached for the handle of the 3rd Level door, I stopped, caught my breath, and thought, "THANK GOD WE ARE ON THE CARDIOLOGY FLOOR BECAUSE I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I MUST BE HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!!!!!" I just can't believe how out-of-shape I am lately!





So, see? God knows what He's doing!





For three days now, I have not taken the elevator.

I haven't had a heart attack yet; but it is nice to know that if I collapse here, clutching at my chest, gasping for air, I am in the exact right place.... here in Cardiology!

BUT IF WE GET TRANSFERRED TO THE 9th FLOOR, I AM SERIOUSLY GOING TO RE-THINK THINGS REGARDING THAT ELEVATOR!





And just so you know, there are 59 stair-steps from the basement to the 3rd Floor..... ya' know.... just in case you decide to forego the elevator yourself!

[grin]