when your breath catches you,
when you get that knot in the pit of your gut,
and then it turns to a sick churning in the deep of your stomach,
when your heart physically feels like each chamber is breaking, being ripped apart.
Every parent feels it when they hear the news.
It doesn't have to be your own kid because you instinctively put yourself in the parents' position.... knowing in your head, knowing in your heart, that one day it could be you getting the phone call, the policeman at the door, the doctor walking the long hall.... to tell you your life is about to change in the blink of an eye.
To tell you your loved one is gone.
Gone from this earth.
All that's left is the body. In this case, a body that couldn't survive an automobile accident. A now broken body. Another boy tries his best to revive the motionless broken frame that lies limp on a roadside.
As humans, we do what we can. Sometimes we can wrap our mouth around their's and blow life-giving air back into their lungs; sometimes we can manipulate their chest and make the heart believe that it's still capable of more years of beating.
And sometimes we can't.
Sometimes no matter what we do in our mortal flesh or in our spirit's outcry to God above, the decision has been made by our Maker that one's time on earth is finished.
That we will no more walk this earth.
That we now come face to face with God our Creator, Who had our lives planned from beginning to end before we were even created in our mother's womb. Our frame was not hidden from Him, for He knit us together; we were woven together in the depths of the earth. All the days ordained for us were written in His book before one of them came to be.
And October 1st, 2010 was the last earthly day that a young eighteen-year-old boy would live here on earth.
Left behind is a mother and father and sister. Ohhhh, as a mother my heart feels the mother's writhing pain. As I watched them hug their son in his casket, the tears filled my eyes and literally gushed down my cheeks along with others in the sanctuary, hundreds and hundreds of students and friends and adults and family watching.... feeling the pain..... shedding their own tears... feeling their own hearts break.... knowing that this mother's heart could never ever hurt more than at this moment.
Stories are told of a kind boy who wasn't afraid to every day verbally share his love to everyone he knew with three simple words.... "I love you". How those words will be missed from the curly red-haired, freckled-faced kid.
I can imagine his mother telling him those very words as she leaned onto his lifeless body and gave him her last goodbyes.... not wanting to let go.... not wanting to let go of his body, to let go of her baby....
As his casket is closed and driven to a cemetery and laid in the ground, she must feel her arms are empty because she's had to let go of him in the physical sense, never to feel his freckled skin again.
Sometimes we have to let go. We may not want to, but we have no choice. In this instance, we cannot hold onto the body. We must let go.
However....
the memories,
the pictures,
the stories,
the conversations,
his favourite toy,
his favourite shirt,
a video of him laughing and talking......
these things we have in our possession, in our minds, so that we never have to let go. These things stay etched in our thoughts and in our hands and in front of our eyes and in our hearts so that we never have to let go.
We have a Saviour Who never lets go of us. He carries us, He walks beside us and before us and around us. He never lets go of us when we're hurting or sad or in pain. Even when we're happy and content, He still doesn't let go.
He surrounds us and lives in us and lives through us. He is there to lift us from the pits and help us through the valleys. He protects us in the dark shadows. He knows what we're feeling, He understands our pain and even our anger that we sometimes direct to Him in times like this. And He still never lets go.
Friend, I would encourage you to call on Him. Be honest with Him about how you're feeling, about your pain, about your confusion, about your anger, about your hurt. Ask Him to help you. Ask Him to comfort you. Ask Him what you can learn from this tragedy and how you can make a difference to help someone else.
He promises that He will never let go. Ever.
Below is a video with a song called Never Let Go. Before listening to it, please scroll to the very bottom of the page and hit the PAUSE button on the blog's music. Then return to this spot and hit PLAY.
Never Let Go - David Crowder Band
Our very deepest condolences to Kathy (and Barry & Ian), Bill (and Rebecca), & Kaitlyn on the loss of your son and brother. Never let go.
God bless.
Tyler McConnell
May 13, 1992 - October 1, 2010
*Photo from Ethan Todd's Facebook Photo Album (Thanks, Ethan.)
He Listened
by Joseph Bayly
Written after he laid three of his sons in the grave
I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God's dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved except to wish he'd go away. He finally did.
Another came and sat beside me. He just sat beside me for an hour and more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.
'
+with+text.jpg)
.bmp)
.bmp)
