What's Your Anthem?

I do not know what it is about hearing a country's Anthem, but I get so choked up.









It might be the fact that as you sing your Anthem, you are joined together with millions of other people who, despite differences in religion, politics, or anything else, stand united in support of their home country.









Saturday Night's "Hockey Night In Canada" always brings a tear to my eye before each game. Hearing the Canadian Anthem of "O Canada" just stirs my heart. I join in on the singing, belting out the lyrics from our family's rec room, and it is all I can do to finish the song without choking on that lump in my throat.

O Canada, our home and native land
True patriot love in all thy sons command.....









Then, if we are playing against the United States, I sing along with their Anthem, as I know every word. The melody to their Anthem is absolutely beautiful, and a small part of me wishes it was Canada's Anthem..... but don't tell anyone I said that.

Oh say can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming....









Since our oldest son, Blake, has been hospitalized this week due to a severe Crohn's Disease flare-up, he and I have taken the opportunity of enjoying some of the soccer games in the 2010 South Africa Fifa World Cup on television. Of course, at the beginning of each game, the two competing teams' Anthems are played.









The camera zooms in on the faces of each of the players, some standing still and concentrating, others mouthing the words, all in support of their country. Some players display the vertical line of tears streaming down their face; and I can't help but think they've got that same lump in their throat.









The camera captures the supporting fans in the stands as they belt out their Anthem as loudly as they can, waving their country's flag, supporting their team, with painted faces and large coloured wigs and hats, huge flags draped around their shoulders.









What is it about a song that makes us stop what we're doing and reflect on it's meaning? And what exactly IS an Anthem anyways?









The Oxford Dictionary describes "anthem" as:




1 an uplifting song associated with a group or cause, especially a patriotic one adopted by a country as an expression of national identity.
2 a musical setting of a religious text to be sung by a choir during a church service.









So it got me to thinking......









What will be our Anthem in Heaven?









Of all the hymns or worship songs you know, which one do you think we will be singing? Which one will join our hearts as one?









I suppose the first song that comes to my mind would be the hymn that many Christians use as their doxology....









Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye Heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.









But then my mind pondered the word "Holy" and this song came to mind....









Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty!
Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee.
Holy, holy, holy! Merciful and mighty,
God in three persons, blessed Trinity!









Revelation 4:8 says, Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."









Our "Anthem" in Heaven will be one of praise to our Lord. Our Anthem, the song that joins our hearts and binds us together as one "country" will be a continual song of praise.... non-stop.... day and night.









If it weren't for the fact that there will be no tears in Heaven, then I would say we would definitely have tears streaming down our face and big ol' lumps in our throat!









We'll be waving our palm-branch flags, and shouting words of praise and adoration, and singing full strength to our Lord.









Our hearts will be united in proclaiming that Our Lord Reigns.









And, rather than standing at attention and facing a flag with a hand over our heart, the difference will be that every knee will be bowed in reverence as we kneel before the Lord our God, our Maker.









Yup..... I feel that lump returning.

Blake's Health Update 2010/05/19

UPDATE: (10:30pm)
After I published this blog post, I checked some messages, and one of them is from a new friend whose husband (Will) has just started receiving Remicade (the miracle medicine Blake received last fall & winter) . First three days were great, then some problems set in for Will..... severe migraines, muscle/joint pain, nausea and hives. His wife is not sure if he's reacting to the Remicade or if it's because of a previous cold he had just before his treatment. (You cannot receive Remicade if you have signs of any fever, cold, etc.). I told his wife that I would ask my friends, many who are dedicated prayer warriors, to pray for Will. Would you please do this for me, folks? Thanks a bunch).
________________________


Today Blake and I travelled to Kingston's Hotel Dieu Hospital to receive his first dose of Methotrexate. (More info on the meds in a bit).

I was listening to UCB Canada 102.3 in the vehicle and enjoying the Christian music as we sped drove down the 401. Although I am appreciating more of the music that they play these days, I must confess that I really do wish more hymns were played.

And then, lo and behold, a "new" song came on, and in the bridge of the song they started singing the following words:

Crown him with many crowns,
the Lamb upon his throne,
Hark! how the heavenly anthem drowns
all music but its own.
Awake, my soul, and sing
of him who died for thee,
and hail him as thy matchless King
through all eternity.

What a bursting thrill for my soul! A hymn! I loved it! The bridge of the song was only this one verse, but what a blessing it was to me, all the way down to my boots! Well, ok, I was actually wearing sandals, but you get the idea.

All I could think of was, "Man, I wish my kids heard more of these good ol' hymns!!!!!!" I cannot believe how many of them I can sing along to without having the words in front of me. I love hymns because, (and I may have written this before), they are really the "meat and potatoes", aren't they? (Uh oh, I'm gonna hear it now from the vegetarians out there, as well as those folks who watch their starch intake! haha)






So I just wanted to share the verse of that hymn with you. It's not about us, it's about our Lord. We were put here for Him. Awake, my soul, and sing to the Almighty King!







Mmm-hmmm. Good stuff.







OK, on to information about Blake.







We received our first dose of Methotrexate today around 1:30pm. They kept us until around 2pm, just to ensure he didn't have any immediate reactions to the meds. He seems really tired tonight, so I'm not sure if he's just exhausted because I yanked him out of bed before 10am (that's right... 10am was an EARLY morning for him!) or if it's because the meds are knocking him out a bit.







The nurse said she was talking to one recipient of Methotrexate who reported that she was really tired the next day, but fine after that. I guess everyone experiences different things. Hopefully Blake won't experience anything other than healing!!!! A friend of ours got a severe reaction after her third dose, so I guess anything can happen at any time; but I'll try and remain positive!







Wanna hear something absolutely ridiculous? Of course you do.







Well, you all know that the Remicade (which the government won't pay for until we try the Methotrexate) is apparently $18,000 per year (approx.) if the government pays for it. (It would be over $26,000 per year if WE pay for it, because we have to pay for the use of the clinic and for the nurse to administer it, etc. [ya, I know... insert eye-rolling here]). The Methotrexate is no where near that cost. A three-month supply (that's receiving one injection per week) would be between $250 & $300. When you buy the meds, the box for one month contains four little tiny bottles. However, only HALF of that bottle is used for one injection. And guess what? They don't make the doses in smaller bottles, so guess what happens to the other half of the bottle after the nurse injects the first half into Blake?







Yup. That's right. Right into the ol' gar-bage-i-o. So basically we are paying for twice the amount of medicine we need! How absolutely sad is that!!!!! And most patients receive that same dosage. So anyone getting it by injection is having to throw out the other half!!! Makes you wanna find a Methotrexate buddy and share a bottle or two and split the cost!







Now here's the other thing. Blake applied for, and was accepted by, The Trillium Foundation. For those of you who are not familiar with the organization, they will pay for your drugs in Ontario. So far, some of our drugs haven't been covered, and some have been partially covered. Once Blake meets his deductible each quarter, there is only supposed to be a $2 fee for his meds. Now get this: Methotrexate, which is apparently older than the hills, is not covered when it's by injection.... it's only covered if taken by pill orally! [insert Oh Brother! and shaking of the head here].







Go figure.







And Blake can't take it by pill form right now because the body absorbs it better by injection, and that's what Blake needs right now.







Sometimes I feel like I'm dragging around a dead horse!







Oh well. My son is alive. Skinny! but alive. Who am I to complain? There are so many others out there as ill, or more ill, than Blake. I suppose I'm not really complaining... or maybe I am..... but I guess sometimes it's just so frustrating.







We live in Canada. We have alllll these great "benefits" and "plans" to assist those in need. They dangle them in front of us like a carrot and say, "Now just try and come and GET 'EM!!!" Then when you think you've got things in place to help you out, you're told "Sorry! Not covered!" Grrrrr.







OK, enough grumbling. Shifting gears. I'm going back to the beginning of this post and concentrating on that hymn. It's not about me. It's not about Blake. It's about our Lord. Our King. He is still on the throne. He knows Blake's situation. He knew about it before Blake was even born. He loves us. He cares for us. He's given us so much. And what have we done for Him? We fail to praise Him enough, I think.







We should be thanking Him every day before our feet even hit the floor! We need to fall down on our faces before Him and give Him praise and adoration.







For HE IS OUR KING.







CROWN HIM with many crowns, the LAMB upon His throne!







To Him be all glory and majesty, forever and ever......







.....even when you're battling Crohn's & Ulcerative Colitis..... or cancer.... or Alzheimer's..... or liver disease..... or being a paraplegic...... or stroke....... or depression...... or whatever!







Go read Job in the Bible and THEN try and complain.







God doesn't punish us with diseases or trials or sickness. The enemy, Satan, is responsible for that. But God uses those times to draw us closer to Him. He allows those things to happen so we'll rely on HIM, so we are stronger THROUGH HIM; and we are still under the shelter of His wing, in the palm of His hand, we are in His shadow. He goes before us and only asks that we follow Him.







That helps me to keep things in perspective, helps to keep my focus on the One who watches over us every single minute. He is all-knowing and all-loving. He cares for me; He cares for Blake; and He cares for YOU!








Father, our matchless King, thank you for reminding me once again.

Just a reminder.... please remember to pray for Will! Thanks!

Blake's Health Update 2009/09/20

My Blakey's comin' home.

Doctor C will pay him a visit in his hospital room sometime around noon-ish tomorrow (Monday), and then he'll be heading home.

Today, all meds were administered orally. No Saline has been given since last night (Saturday). He only had painkillers twice today (once in the morning and once before bed) and the ones this morning were just Extra Strength Tylenol! That's good! Not sure if they gave him Extra Strength or #3's before bed, but I have a feeling it was just Extra Strength.

I found out a few things today. Some things are making sense, some aren't.

The two antibiotics that he has been taking (Cipro and Flagyl) are not being administered to fight an infection; apparently they are assisting to heal the ulcered intestines. I guess these drugs have been proven to help with the healing. That's good! That is under the "making sense" category.

Hemoglobin levels (red blood counts) are working their way back up to normal. (Makes sense).

White cell count has apparently been a little higher than normal this week (this was news to ME!), but Doctor C indicated that it's normal for that to happen while on Prednizone. (Makes sense).

Blake will remain on Flagyl & Cipro for another week to ten days. (Makes sense).


And here's what confusing me:

Uhhhh, let me start by saying....
-that it's very confusing to me,
-that I'm not going to give ALL the details yet
-that I don't understand a lot about this and therefore cannot express it properly to you.

We will be seeing another specialist in the near future... a rheumatologist. I touched on this lightly in one of the earlier posts, I think. Doctor C found something in Blake's bloodwork in the early-on stages of Blake's illness regarding rheumatoid. She thought it best to refer us to a specialist (whom we have not seen yet).

Tonight during our conversation, Doctor C indicated to me that she didn't want to say a lot to me about it because she does not want to give me any inaccurate information. What she HAS indicated to me is that it is very rare to be diagnosed with two chronic diseases at the same time. She wants to be sure that symptoms from one disease are not diagnosed in error when they actually could be tied in with ANOTHER disease. I'm sorry if that sentence is confusing.... I'm not sure how else to explain it.

We DO know that Doctor B (colonoscopy doctor) did some analyzing of some ulcers that he found in Blake's intestines. He confirmed that at least one ulcer is Crohn's. However...

[pausing here for a second while I try and get my tired head wrapped around this....]

...it appears to me that something else could possibly be going on. Doctor C has asked that we be patient with them as they really look into Blake's situation. They want to ensure that they are diagnosing him properly so that he can be treated properly. She is hesitant in saying too much to me until we can see the rheumatologist, Doctor T, who will be more familiar with what is actually going on.

It's all confusing to me right now because
(a) I'm very tired
(b) I'm not understanding all these medical terms and conditions
(c) I'm very tired
(d) We've been a relatively healthy family, so all this is so new and mind-boggling
(e) I'm very tired.

I need to go online and check out this rheumatoid stuff and I need to ensure that my husband doesn't flip his lid. He was a basket-case until we found out it was Crohn's; so... Jon, if you're reading this, just CHILL! Don't spaz out on me. Let the doctors do their job! Don't borrow trouble. God is still on the throne!

Things may turn out that it ends up being Crohn's and nothing else, but I just want y'all to be aware that something else is possibly being mixed into the brew here.

We ask for your prayers to give the doctors and specialists wisdom as they work to fine-tune their diagnosis.

Blake doesn't seem too alarmed.... he is only concerned with the fact that he's able to get to New Brunswick for the January semester.

Today he had a really good day. Of course he's tired, but he really felt good and had an amazing appetite. I'd say this has been his best day in the last four months or so.

And me? I'd say this day has been my most tiring day. I'm really zonked. And I'm going to sign off now and hit the hay, but I just wanted you all to be aware of what's happening. The only scheduled appointments are October 9th with Doctor B (colonsoscopy doctor). Doctor C is around this week and then she's off for two weeks; however, she'll be leaving me her cell phone and home number to call her anytime! Can you believe that???? I told her, "You don't have to give me your personal numbers!" And she quickly replied that she didn't mind at all. That just amazes me, folks. God love 'er. And hopefully Doctor T, the rheumatologist, will have an appointment for us soon.


And just before I close, no word from Wannett in Africa, so all must be well. Please pray for one of her children who had a fever yesterday. Also, Don, who is suffering from Jakob's Disease, continues to reach the end of his life here on earth. Today they needed to suction his lungs (he is getting full of fluid). Pray for Helen, that she leans on the Lord for the strength she'll need during this trial.

He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24

Pass me not, O gentle Saviour,
Hear my humble cry,
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Saviour, Saviour,
Hear my humble cry,
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.

Why Is It That......?

Why is it that......

......my circumstances are not any different today than they were yesterday, yet today those circumstances just seem overwhelming for me? My stomach wasn't in knots yesterday, but today it is. Life is the same today as it was yesterday, so why am I bothered by "things" today and not yesterday? How come?



Why is it that......

......some days I can just simply pick things up after my husband has left them lying around and I don't chaw about it, yet other days I find these same things lying anywhere-and-everywhere they don't belong, like clothing (specifically underwear and socks!), newspapers and flyers, calculators, popcorn bags, bottle caps...... [sigh], and I end up "chewin' nails and spittin' rust"? How come?



Why is it that......

......one day my kids can make a comment to me that someone else might consider a little "smart-mouthed", however I know they're just teasing me and having fun ('cause I'm a good one to dish it out!), yet another day they do the same thing and I might tear a strip off them for "back-talkin' their Momma!"? And now they're frustrated and confused because they don't know what they've done wrong? How come?



Why is it that......

......I can be sooooo appreciative of the life I have, most specifically the health of my family, yet another day I complain and chew that "life's not better"? How come?




Why is it that......

......some moments I can feel so close to God and know He is with me and has my life all planned out already and all I have to do is listen to Him and let Him lead, yet in the next moment I am fearful of the future, worried about my kids, perturbed with my husband, frustrated that I'm not a better wife, feel guilty that I haven't even picked up my Bible that day? How come?






Well, I was contemplating all this earlier today, and the first thought I had was that God supplies His grace to me.

So my next thought was, "Well, does one day have more grace than another? Why can I handle things and get through one day, yet struggle the next?"


I figured that the Lord wouldn't be sitting there thinking, "Well, I'm not giving Michelle as much grace today as I did yesterday because she used up her quota." I'm smart enough to know that God doesn't operate like that! But a song did immediately pop into my head, and the lyrics of the song (which I amazingly have had memorized since I was a y'ung thang) helped me to understand His "dishing out" of grace.

Here's the words to the song He Giveth More Grace (and I'm typing from memory, just so you know! I'm not gonna cheat and Google the words!)

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater
He sendeth more strength when the labours increase
To added affliction He addeth His mercy
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance
When our strength has failed 'ere the day is half done
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
The Father's full giving is only begun.

CHORUS
His love has no limit, His grace has no measure
His power has no boundary known unto men
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.




So, there is no measure to His grace, it is unlimited. There's no measure to it; however, we get more grace when we need more grace.

Grace is God's unmerited favour to me. I don't deserve His favour. I did nothing to receive it, and most definitely don't deserve it. Yet He loves me, despite how I feel and despite how I'm acting towards anyone. The first line of the song says, "He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater." Some days we need more grace, but Hallelujah, it has no limit! There's no measure to it!

He loves me despite my fault-finding with my husband's inability to find the dirty laundry basket; He loves me despite my nit-picking at my kids; He loves me despite my worrying about too much month and not enough money.

HOWEVER, that being said typed, He doesn't want me to stay in my attitude of fault-finding and nit-picking and worrying and every other bad habit I have accummulated over my 42 years. He gives me grace despite those things; but I have to be aware of them and consciously make a choice to change (for a healthier me and a happier family! haha)




Why is it that......

......just typing out this post has made me feel better already? How come?


Because I have a great family and great friends and most definitely a great God.




Why is it that......

......God chose me? Why'd He pick me up from the miry clay and set my feet upon the rock? How come?


Because He loves me. And He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
'