There's Hope For Me Yet

Sorry, gang.....

Days without a blog post again!

Yesterday we were without internet connection.... we THOUGHT because of the winter storm we're experiencing.

This morning we still had no access. Blake said Skype was working, but nothing else.

So I phone Kingston Online Services and chatted with a very kind gentleman in Technical Support who informed us that we needed to unplug our wireless router and then plug it back in, so as to re-set it.

And....

VOILA!

We then had internet connection.

I am without my computer because last Thursday night we were invaded with viruses. Last count said that I had 34 viruses. Yikies! I immediately shut the computer off.

I have phoned a computer guy, but have had a terribly busy week and haven't had the chance to get my computer to him.

I've been borrowing Blake's computer, so hopefully mine will be fixed within the next few weeks before Blake takes off for the east.

Yes, he's determined to head off to college for January. I normally wouldn't be too worried, but now that he's battling this disease, I'm a little more afraid to cut the apron strings.

Who is going to watch my baby out there????? Hmmmmm??????

I must remember to have Blake set me up on Skype so I can SEE him and see for myself how he's feeling, even if it is only via a computer screen.

I suppose it's one of those times that God is whispering in my ear, "Michelle.... time to completely trust Me.... 100 percent....".

[sigh...] "OK God. I hear ya."




So, I mentioned earlier that we're experiencing a winter storm here in Th' Coun'y.

Yesterday Jacob and Jared got the day off school. All buses were cancelled.

We thought they'd cancel them again this morning, but nay-nay.... no cancellations. The boys went to breakfast in Cherry Valley at our friend's restaurant. I was worried letting Jake drive to the restaurant and to school in this kind of weather... the tires on his truck match the tires on my car.... BALD!

I asked him to drive carefully, and I hope he did! He was able to keep it on the road, and arrived home safely this afternoon after school.

Jake hates that I always say, "Drive carefully" when he leaves the house. I told him to get used to it because I am 42 years old and my mother STILL tells me the same thing! He was NOT impressed.



Today I was not feeling very "Christian-like". I had major attitude with a particular person. I am tired of dealing with all the crappy paperwork with Blake's meds. I am tired of hearing different things with every single person I talk to. And one particular person feels she has the answers to everything until I explain to her that I was told something by someone from Trillium which is opposite to what "she" says, and THEN she says, "Well, I don't know, I'll put you through to the social worker". Then she proceeds to tell me AGAIN things that are opposite to what Trillium tells me, and when I explain things again (or rather TRY to explain things.... she won't let me finish a sentence!), then AGAIN says, "well, I don't know, I'll put you through to the social worker".

HMMPH!!!! FIRST she tells me NOTHING happens until it FIRST passes through HER desk!!!!! THEN she tells me this and that. THEN she says she doesn't know. So when I tell her what I'VE been told, she tells me that "I" am wrong, yet in her next breath she says, "I don't know".

Lady, quit talkin' outta both sides of yer mouth!!!!

If she were my employee, I'd completely smack her!

I just recently attended a Bible Study where we studied a book and video by Beth Moore of Living Proof Ministries. One of the things Beth talks about is how we deal with "Testy"..... those people who we have relationships with who "test" us or get under our skin.

I think today I chatted with one of my testy's.

I must figure out a way to deal with this, or it will drive me nuts. She is someone that I must deal with in the future, so I need to 'love' her as the Lord does.

[must I REALLY do that?]

[sigh.... again]

I guess I must "love her in the Lord", but I will tell you right now, I don't think I really like her all that much.

I spoke with someone regarding her unprofessionalism on the phone with me, and I was told that "she is going through something right now". I said, "You know what? That's OK.... I understand that. We're ALL going through something. And if not right now, then we'll be going through it down the road. But that is NO excuse to be blatantly rude to patients. "I" am going through something right now with MY son.... a son that was dying before my eyes! But that does not give me license to be rude to anyone ELSE!"

So...

now.....

in saying all this, I must now apologize to you for venting.

God loves this lady just as much as me and died for her too, so I need to "suck it up" and be the grown up here.

Guess I've still got some learnin' and growin' to do. I don't need to be her doormat, but I do need to be a door.

Jeesh, I HATE it when I have to be all mature..... [she said as she pouted and stamped her feet].

And now it's after midnight, so I must close this post. As the wind howls away outside, and the snow continues to blow, I must bow before our Lord and ask Him to soften this very hard, dry heart tonight.

If I could just "check my attitude at the door", I might not be such a terribly bad person after all.

Either I'm one of those misfit toys on the Rudolph-The-Red-Nosed-Reindeer cartoon, or I'm Peter, from the Bible, who just kept messin' up over and over. But Santa didn't give up on the toys, and Jesus didn't give up on Peter.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

[Yes, folks, now would be a good time to pray for me. :O)]

Until next time..........