Could Someone Plug In The Defibrillator?

Well, I MUST say that today I got QUITE the shocker.

Let's just step back in time a bit....

I had gone to the dentist a while back because I had a filling that was coming loose or had shifted or SOMETHING (you could see a big space between the filling and my actual tooth, and it was causing me some pain).

So my dentist, Doctor B, (who is a VERY funny man, always joking, a real hoot!), decides that we will refill the tooth with what's called a 'medicated filling' for a period of time, and if the pain disappears, then we know that there isn't any nerve damage (or SOMETHING like that), and we will set up an appointment to put a proper filling in it's place. Perfect. So that's what we do.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago. A different filling in one of my back teeth just completely pops out. It's not causing me pain; however, it's a little sensitive when I'm brushing my teeth.

Fast forward to today. I have an appointment to replace the medicated filling. I asked the dentist if we could just leave the medicated filling for now and work on the tooth at the back that now has no filling.

(Oh yes, I should add in here that it is not Doctor B anymore..... Doctor B recently decided to take an early retirement (Doctor B.... I miss you....) and we now have Doctor S).

OK, so Doctor S, who seems like a very nice gentleman, takes a look at my mouth due to my request of fixing the other tooth.

He wants to know if I'm a boxer. hahahahhaa. You see, I have about five or six teeth right now that need repairs. Many of my teeth have obviously become brittle in spots over the last few years, and some small pieces of my teeth have just simply broken off. They're not causing me problems, other than being a bit sharp for a while, and also sometimes they're a teeny-weeny bit sensitive.

Doctor S gets an x-ray of the back tooth that I would like repaired. Then he comes in and proceeds to tell me that he would like to do a full examination of ALL my teeth because he believes there are some pretty serious repairs to be done here. After looking closely at my x-ray of the back tooth, he then proceeds to tell me what he thinks about repairing it.

"Well, we have to do a lot of work on that tooth if we're gonna save it. We need to do a root canal.... and then we need to do gum surgery because your gums have grown up over the edges of that broken tooth.... and then we need to build up the sides of that tooth.... and then we need to put a crown on the top. Now I don't know how you stand financially, but we're looking at anywhere from $3,000 to $4,000."

He stops talking.

There's complete silence.

After they resuscitated me with the defibrillator.......

(Do they even HAVE Do-Not-Resuscitate Orders for dental offices?)

ANYways.....

..... I looked at him

..... I smiled

..... I said.....

"We'll be pulling it, thank you."


Can you beee-lieeeeeeeve that?

Uhhhhhh...., let's see now.... HOW many mortgage payments is that?

So he says, "Well, let's set up a time to get a full examination of your mouth so that we can see what teeth can be saved."

I stagger walk to the counter to set up an appointment with the receptionist. I am told that today's fee (which was a total of, maybe, TEN minutes in the chair and one x-ray of, basically what's left of, one tooth!) is $70.00.

I am told that for Doctor S to LOOK at my teeth, it will likely be around $200.00. AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN USED ANY INSTRUMENTS YET!!!!




.....AAAAAAND..... WE HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE TOOTH WITH THE MEDICATED FILLING YET, which was what I ORIGINALLY was supposed to have done!!!!!


HELLOOOOOOOOO.... WHY DON'T WE JUST MEDICATE-FILL MY WHOLE ENTIRE MOUTH!!!!!?????????


[pause for me to have a breakdown....]



Ten minutes in a dental chair = $70

Full mouth examination = $200

Root canal - gum surgery - crown = $4,000

Lookin' like I'm truly from the Southern end of Th' Coun'y = Priceless



For everything else, there's MasterCard.

The only upside I see to this whole scenario is this:

When I perform as Ma Critter, I won't have to use my eyebrow pencil to blacken out my teeth because I WON'T HAVE ANY TEETH LEFT TO BLACKEN OUT!!!!



Ma Critter with Linda - Springarama 2009


I think it's moments like today that we all need our own personal little portable defibrillator.

You never know when you might need it.