It would appear that THIS is what our lives will be like for the next while:
....up and down and up and down.......
With the exception of a couple of days where Blake has had a bit of mild pain or felt a little weak, he's really been coming along great.....
.....until last night.
.....and again today.
Last night he experienced excrutiating pain in his belly again. He says it feels like knives jabbing him in the belly. And the diarhea returned.
(Pardon me that I've been misspelling the word "diahrea". The Canadian spelling is actually diarrhoea and the U.S. spelling is diarrhea. I just checked my Oxford. Thanks, Bob & Donnie, for the dictionary! Did you know you gave it to me nine years ago TODAY?)
He woke up this morning around 5:30am with lots of pain and vomitted twice this morning. There's been blood in the stools again, quite a bit; and he's complaining of back pain again.
No appetite and no energy today.
[sigh]
I will SO much appreciate the upcoming visit with Doctor B, the specialist. I expected a flare-up sooner or later, but not quite THIS soon.
Might be time to call Doctor C on her cell phone. (Yes, Karen, I promise I will speak with her).
Blake was very upset today, saying things like, "I thought I was getting better!!" I'm having a hard time explaining to him that we still have so much more to learn about this disease and that it's going to be a lifetime struggle for him.
He wanted to go camping with friends this weekend.... He wanted to go to an overnight youth retreat in Toronto in a couple of weeks.... He is SO BADLY wanting to go to college in New Brunswick in January.....
(By the way, he's decided not to go camping nor go to the retreat in the city! THANK you, Lord!)
I explained to him today that my first concern is for his health, and I tried very delicately to explain that unless November and December were fairly healthy months, his father and I will not be "allowing him" to travel to New Brunswick for school. He nodded and said he understood. I explained that once his health was under control, assuming that some day it will be somewhat normal, we can look at him travelling such a distance to attend college. I am disappointed for him because I know how much he was looking forward to going, and the folks at the college have just been fantastic!
And I am really wishing that the Rheumatologist would call for our appointment with him!!!!! I am really wanting to know if we are dealing with one chronic disease or two!
I participated at a fundraiser last Sunday where I sang a couple of songs along with many other local musical artists. While there, I spoke with the wife of one of the band members. She has THREE chronic diseases, two of which involve Rheumatoid and Crohn's. (The third one has something to do with her lungs, but I can't remember what it's called.) She looked amazingly healthy despite the fact that she's been battling these three diseases for about 30 years! It gave me some encouragement that Blake might just be able to have some normalcy some day.
I guess I just expect everything to be fixed "NOW", and God's time isn't a NOW kind of time.
I hate to see one of my babies hurting. And when Momma bird can't fix baby bird, it makes her feel helpless.
But if running to his bedside with crackers and sips of water and medication and pain pills is all I can do for now, then that's what I'll do.
Sometimes he doesn't have the energy to call out for me, or maybe I can't hear him because the dryer is running or the radio is a bit too loud, so I put a little porcelain bell by his bedside. It sure startled me at 5:30 this morning to hear that little bell a- ringin'.
I think he secretly likes ringing that bell because it's like I'm his MAID or something! I'll have to keep that bell handy for when I get in my 80's or 90's and I need HIM to get MY crackers or water or meds.... or fetch my dentures or change my Depends. hahaha.
Anyways, that's where we stand today, folks, with Blake's health situation. Thank you SO MUCH for all the cards you've been sending and the emails and the phone calls. We are so so so blessed to have so many caring people around us.
And when you pray for Blake, will you please also remember all the people in the world who are much worse off than we are?? The news today was filled with death tolls of people who lost their lives in earthquakes and tsunamis. We tend to push it to the back burner of our minds and only think about what WE are experiencing. But we could have it so much worse.
What we have is temporary.... the good stuff AND the bad stuff.
In Job 2:10, Job said, "Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”
Yes, there are times when we face some bad stuff. But we're not the only ones who are suffering. Millions around the world are suffering tonight.
But God sees them all.
And God sees us.
And God sees Blake.
And we'll rest in knowing that our Lord is still on the throne and He knows what He's doing.
Thank you, again, for your love and support.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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